*This is an essay I wrote for United States Masters Swimming (USMS) as to why I swim
Submitted August, 2023
Swimming! Swimming has been a part of my life from a very early age. I started with baby-parent classes then progressed to summer league, club team, high school, college, and now Masters.
In 2017, I was sitting on the couch, and all of the sudden felt chest pain with a tingling sensation down my right arm and had slurred speech. I thought to myself, “I am having a panic attack”, but this was the worst feeling that I have ever felt. My boyfriend insisted that I go to the ER. I finally was seen by an ER doctor, who could not find anything wrong. The pain had subsided and I felt “normal”. That was my last memory until I woke up in an ICU room three weeks later.
I remember waking up in a hospital room with my mom, dad and sister there. I live in Florida and my parents live in Ohio and sister in Washington, DC. They were wearing hospital gowns and gloves. I could not understand why they were there, and why I was in the hospital. They explained to me that I was very sick. I was not at that time able to understand that I had been in the hospital since April 7th and now it was the end of April.
All the details as to what happened during those three weeks are stories I have heard from my family and close friends. I was told that I was confused and combative. Several of my lab reports were dangerously out of normal range. I was physically restrained after repeatedly trying to get out of bed and head butting my mom. I developed breathing issues and was intubated. Because of extreme agitation, I was also chemically controlled. I would pull out wires and lost my two front teeth from grinding them on
the intubation tube. I was hours away from receiving tracheotomy when I subconsciously decided that it was time to take the breathing tube out. So, I pulled it out. As my confusion subsided, I found out that I had seizures and mild strokes “while I was sleeping”.
After 3 weeks in the ICU, I went to a step-down room with continued monitoring. I was pumped full of meds and had been diagnosed with Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura (TTP, for short). Idiopathic meaning my cause was unknown. It is a rare blood condition where the platelet levels drop. The main treatment was plasmapheresis, where I was hooked up to “Dracula” a machine that sucked my blood out and adding platelets (usually 10-12 bags per treatment). The whole process took about 3 hours and was done daily while I was in the hospital, and I continued to receive plasmaphereses as an outpatient once a week for a while.
Luckily, my parents were both able to be with me most of the time and between their visits my sister, my boyfriend, and other friends visited. I was rarely alone. I also got visits from the therapy dogs, which always put a smile on my face. Discharge plans were for me to go the rehabilitation facility, but when it was time the facility decided that IVs and outpatient plasmapheresis was not something they could do. I was discharged home.
Once I got out of the hospital, I thought I was free and I was able to get back to my normal life. Mind you, I was barely able to walk and using a walker. I was getting IVs daily for an infection and taking over 20 different pills. My new reality was nothing like my life before I went to the hospital. My mom stayed with me for 6 months to help with everything; IVs, medications, household chores, grocery shopping, my dogs, driving me from appointment to appointment. I would not be able to write this story if it had not been for my age, physical condition, support of family and friends, health care team, and God who held us up during this time.
All of this to preface my story as to how Masters Swimming became such an important part of my life.
With a port in my chest and using the walker to walk. There was one place I wanted to be – IN THE POOL! My neighborhood has a small pool and "as much fun as sitting around the house the majority of the day is". I needed to get out. But, I had the port, there is no way I could swim. Well, when there is a will, there is a way! My mom helped me to cover the port with a dressing, then cling wrap, then a wash cloth tucked into my swim suit strap, and finally rash guard – all to go to the pool. The feel of the water was incredible. I was able to walk without assistance, I stayed in waist deep water and just walked side to side, after that it went to leg swings, a little jogging, and eventually holding onto the side of the pull to kick.
About 6 weeks after I was discharged from the hospital, and still recovering, my boyfriend tragically died in a freak accident. So, after physically and psychologically trying to heal from being in the hospital. I was also trying to wrap my mind around the sudden death of the man I was going to marry and grow old with.
Finally! In October, I was able to go back to work! Lucky for me, I was the Aquatics Director for a local municipal pool, which meant access to a pool!! After my first full week back to work, it was time to hit the water. With fellow USMS swimmer, Isaac Silver (Swim Melbourne) and USA Swimming Coach Mike Rochelle (Brevard Swim Club), we hit the pool. Starting out small, we all had our reasons, but, ultimately, we all had health goals that needed to be met. For me, I just wanted to feel “normal”! Averaging at first 2000 yards per practice, then 3000 and finally getting to 5000 at least once a week. I started swimming some smaller Master meets with my first in February of 2018.
The goal was to go to USMS Nationals in Indy in 2018, literally a year since I was in the hospital. For both Mike and Isaac, it was a way to spend time with me and make sure I was okay, without asking. The pool was my "me" time! A time to challenge myself, hear the silence, enjoy time with my friends and to heal. It truly was a part of my healing journey and still continues to be. When literally, my whole life was turned upside down, swimming helped me to persevere; to set goals, to wake up and stroke after stroke – to try and understand everything that had happened in such a short amount of time.
My parents and sister came to Indy for the meet. It was like I was a 10 and under again, with my parents in the stands and my sister on deck. My sister swam in a few events. My first event was the 400 IM. Once they saw that the race time was within 10 seconds of my childhood time, they knew that they could finally breathe a sigh of relief. The worst was behind us. WE were okay and I do mean WE, although this physically happened to me, it affected my whole family unit.
Fast-forwarding to 2023, Sarasota! This is my first long course USMS Nationals. Due to being an aquatics director for so many years, I have never been able to train or get enough time off to travel to a long course meet during the summer. I am a part of the first National Team with Bolles Masters Swimming. I have new friends and I am doing what I love. Swimming literally helped me come back to being me!
I now am a certified health and life coach and work with adults on habit change and increasing movement and regulating nutritional habits. I also work with both teams and individual swimmers on motivation, mindset and emotional intelligence.
Just Keep Swimming!!
*Pictures:
My First Steps- right around Mother's Day, after literally not walking for over a month, I had lost all my leg muscle!
Home from the hospital, after falling out of bed and getting a gnarly bruise from hitting my side table. But, I had one of my "Doctors" watching over me.
PS: so much weight gain from steroids!
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